Secrets
by Immortal Sina
Summary: Shikamaru Nara's life isn't the best. His mom is always breathing down his neck about his academics, & his father beats him for being "a poor excuse for a son." Asuma, his teacher, notices his injuries. He starts to question his student. Shikamaru tries to hide it from him. But it might bring the two of them together. M/M Other Warnings Inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Please note that this story will have the following: Excessive Bad Language, Child Abuse, Slash/ Gay Romance, Saying God's/His Son's Name In Vain, Cutting, Student/Teacher Relationship. If any of these offend you, please DO NOT go any further. And also some characters are way OOC (mainly Shikaku and Yoshino). Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT-in any way, shape, or form-own "Naruto" or its characters. Kishimoto does. **

** (Asuma's POV)**

The bell rang, ending the school day, and teenagers piled out of the room, talking and laughing. When they were all gone, I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand, head tilted towards the ceiling. I was desperately in need of a smoke break. I gathered my things into my bag and was about to exit when I heard yawning. I snapped my head toward the back of the room, surprised, thinking I was the only one in the room. I saw a student stand up from the desk he was sitting at, stretching his arms up.

It was Shikamaru Nara, the laziest student that goes to Konoha High. **(1) **He had his spiky black hair up in a ponytail, his brown eyes cloudy with sleep. He was wearing a black sweat shirt and ratty jeans, black low-top shoes on his feet. Shikamaru rubbed his eyes and blinked, yawning again.

"Geez, you scared the hell out of me, kid," I said. I don't care about language. The students already use it, why can't I?

The student looked at me with an irritated expression and shrugged. "You woke me up," he answered in a soft voice. He then put the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and walked out of the room. I followed him and locked the door.

"You know," I called, "I could give you detention for sleeping in my class."

Shikamaru stopped walking down the hallway. He moved his head to the side and said, "You think I give a shit?" He started to walk again.

I smirked. "Fine, then. If you don't care, then I'll just give you one. Be in my room tomorrow, or I'll fail you. Got it?" All I got was a shrug from the teenager. My phone went off. I answered it. "Hello?"

"Oh, Asuma, honey! Can your father and I come over tonight?" One reason why I dislike my parents: they like to pop up without a moment's hesitation.

"I don't know, Mom. I have a lot of papers to grade." A lie, but spending "quality time" with my parents is never the greatest pastime.

"You can do papers another day. You always seem to do that, don't you? Please, sweety?" She sounded so begging. Damn it, I hate when she does that.

I sighed. "Fine, fine. You and Dad can come over. I have to go now. Bye."

"Thank you so much, darling! We'll arrive around 7. See you then!" She disconnected.

I sighed again and ran my hand through my hair. Jesus, I hate having my parents over. I rummaged through my bag until I found my pack of cigarettes. I grabbed one out of the box and lit it, not caring if I was inside the school or not. I needed one.

"Parents being troublesome, huh?" a voice said ahead of me. I jolted and looked up from the ground. Shikamaru was standing there, holding his locker door open. He grabbed his messenger bag and closed his locker. He slung the bag on his shoulders.

"You have no idea," I answered. Damn, I thought he left. "Don't tell anyone, 'kay?" I held up the lit cigarette.

He snorted. "Don't worry. But you'll have to do me a favor."

I nodded. "Okay, anything. What is it? Get you out of detention, raise your grade, free you from a test?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "No," he said and looked into my eyes. "Don't call home about the detention." Before I could say anything, he walked away, out of the school.

Okay then. I normally don't get requests like that from students. Most of them would ask to raise their grade or let them skip the upcoming test. Not ask to not tell their parents that they received detention. _'Eh,'_ I thought, _'Maybe his family's strict.' _I shrugged it off and started out to my car. I had more important things to think about. Like my parents.

I drove home, thinking of what I have to do for the night. Step one: clean up the apartment. Step two: make a good dinner. Step three: hope everything goes good.

I stepped into my home and closed the door with my foot. Quickly setting my stuff down in my bedroom, I opened the fridge to see what food I had. Let's see...Peanut butter, milk, a bad carton of bad eggs, bologna, and a package of microwaveable bacon. And in the pantry, I have a loaf of bread. _'Shit.'_ I rushed to my car once more, checking the time. I had 4 hours to make a damn good dinner and become "presentable." Wonderful. I swerved through traffic, praying I wouldn't get pulled over. Then out of nowhere, everything came to a stand-still. No one was moving. The people walking were going faster than the ones in the cars. You. Have. GOT. To be. Fucking. KIDDING. Me. Just my luck that there will be something going on! I hit my head against the steering wheel repeatedly, making the horn go off. After minutes of banging my head and killing off my brain cells, I raised my head up and looked out the window. Just then, I saw a teenage boy walk by, hands stuffed in his pants pockets. Funny, it looked a lot like Shikamaru. _'Wait...That IS Shikamaru!' _He was acting odd, though. He was limping and what looked like bruises covered his uncovered neck. _'Wonder what happened...'_ Then, out of nowhere, Shikamaru looked _right at me_. He gazed into my eyes, before snapping his head away and walking away more swiftly then he had been before. Huh. Must be in a hurry for something. But he wasn't walking like that until he first saw me. And what was up with the bruises?

The traffic in front of me started moving again, and I moved Shikamaru to the back of my mind for the second time that day. I glanced down at my watch again. Only 3 and ½ hours until the 'rents come knocking at my door. Fuck...

**-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

I pushed open the door out of the school and welcomed the crisp air of autumn. There were too many clouds to actually see shapes, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to get out of the hell hole people call school. Though home wasn't much better. If I have to listen to one more of my mother's lectures, I think I would kill myself. Likewise, Dad isn't any nicer. Nope, he beats his "waste-of-space" son. I reluctantly pushed open the door to my "home." As quietly as I could, I made my way to the kitchen. If I could get something to snack on before heading to my room without getting caught...

"Shikamaru Nara, get your ass over here!" Dad hollered from the living room. I sighed; so close! Slowly, I made my way to where my mother and father were waiting for me. As usual, when I am in their presence, they're glaring at me.

"Where have you been?" Mom asked.

"School," I answer.

"Why didn't you come straight home and do your homework?" Oh, god, really? Then again she is _my _mother. Can't get any stricter than her.

"Well, I accidentally fell asleep," I said in a bored tone. It was the same thing every day...

"Don't use that tone with us!" Dad shouted, butting in. The hell? What tone was I using?

"I was using my usual voice." I really shouldn't talk back to him.

"And **don't** talk back!" Dad lunged up and backhanded me across the face. It stung, bad. I knew talking back was a bad idea. If I stayed silent, though, he would've hit me anyway. So whatever I do, the outcome isn't good.

"Don't you realize you're failing all your classes?" Mom demanded. How is having all "B's" failing?

My dad snorted. "Of course he doesn't. He's a stupid fag, remember?" Ah, yes, you have to add the "fag" part, hm? You hate that your only son is gay? Obviously.

"I'm getting 'B's'," I said. Dad's face turned red with anger. Shit, that was a bad move.

He grabbed an umbrella that was by him. Okay, then. Didn't know we even _owned_ an umbrella. Dad stood up and swung it near my head. I ducked and stepped away from him. He swung again and, halfway through the swing, he went the opposite direction and cracked it on my head. I gritted my teeth and try to grab the umbrella, but he shot it back before hitting me in the face with the handle. I stumbled and fell to the ground. Oh shit. Dad slammed his foot down on my leg. Pain blossomed around my ankle and I heard a soft crack. Just fucking great. I yelled out, and he kicked me in the stomach. My mom just sat there and tutted before getting up and walking away. Yup, that's my mom for ya. Hates my guts almost as much as my dad. Speaking of, he kicked me again, on my wrist. There was another crack. I yelled out again and tried to get up. Bad move. He gripped my throat and squeezed. Air left my lungs immediately. It felt like my throat was about to collapse.

"You useless piece of faggot shit. You make your mother and me sick!" he spat. Oh god, is he honestly going to give me a lecture while he's choking me? "You should just go ahead and die, but that would break your mother's heart, even if she thinks you're a horrible excuse for a son." _'And that's why she's bitching at me because I have all "B's"?' _My vision turned white from the lack of oxygen. I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was alone in the middle of the living room. I could hear the faint sounds of Mom and Dad in the kitchen. My ankle and wrist were throbbing in pain as I stood up. I slowly limped to the bathroom and took out a bottle of painkillers. After popping two in my mouth and taking care of my wounds the best I could, I grabbed my bag and left my home silently. There was no way in hell I was going to stay there for the night. I walked along the sidewalk, thinking about the day.

Truthfully? I thought it went pretty well, considering the circumstances. It could have always been worse. Hopefully, Asuma-sorry, Mr. Sarutobi-sticks with his end of the deal. If Mom and Dad find out I got detention, I should start writing my will. I would do anything to make sure he doesn't tell my parents. Speaking of him, I saw him in his car. The traffic was at a stand-still, and he was banging his head against his steering wheel. _'The fuck...?'_ He stopped. He had blue-black hair that was spiked up, and his beard of the same color was neatly trimmed. His brown eyes were anxious and pissed at the same time. He removed his tie he had on during school, and his shirt was unbuttoned. I wonder what he had to do tonight? _'Probably not find a place to sleep for the night.'_ Then he turned and looked me. Except, he wasn't looking at my eyes. He was looking at my uncovered neck. Which probably had bruises. Fuck. I snapped my head forward again and started to walk faster. My ankle was killing me, but I wanted to get as far away from my teacher as possible. I have to focus on the task at hand. Trying to find a place to sleep. Oh, this is going to be fun.

**-x-x-x-**

**A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry about the little cliff hanger thing. But *shrugs* oh well. I'll update as soon as possible. Ideas for future chapters and reviews are welcome. You can PM if you want. **

**(1) Aren't I _so_ creative? Lol**

**~Sina~**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I made Kiba OOC (sorry!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, blah blah blah. **

**Please note that this story will have the following: Excessive Bad Language, Child Abuse, Slash/ Gay Romance, Saying God's/His Son's Name In Vain, Cutting, Student/Teacher Relationship. If any of these offend you, please DO NOT go any further. Plus, there will be OOC Characters. (Shikaku, Yoshino, and Kiba)**

**-x-x-x-**

**(Asuma's POV)**

I shoved the turkey on to my stove and pulled the hot mitts off. I looked at the clock. Thirty minutes until Mom and Dad are here. Thirty minutes to finish the dinner, take a shower, and get dressed. Shit. I ran to my room, grabbed the clothes I needed and rushed toward the bathroom. After taking a ten minute shower, I bounded to the kitchen, finishing most of the dinner and placing it on the table. Once it was done, I sighed in relief and collapsed on my couch. I rummaged through my pants pockets and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. I took a long drag as the doorbell rang. I sighed and rose from my comfortable position, shoving my shirt in my pants. Yeah, my parents are the ones you'll see all dressed up for even something simple like dinner at a person's house. I answered the door and they stood in the doorway.

"Hey," I said. Mom scrunched her nose up in disapproval. She absolutely _loathes_ my smoking habit. Oh yeah, I forgot...not really. And I still had my cigarette in my hand, blowing smoke above their heads.

"Hello," she said, trying to be casual, but that failed. She and Dad were all dressed up: her in a dress and heels with mountains of jewelry and Dad in a crisp suit. I felt extremely under-dressed in a white button-down shirt and black dress pants, but they can do that to anyone. Feel inferior, I mean.

I gestured for them to come inside. They did, and they took their shoes off. "Whatever you are making smells delicious!" Mom exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.

I nodded. "Thanks." Let's just go with it. They sat down on my couch, my mom on the edge like she was uncomfortable. She probably was, being used to plush cushions. Not the sinkhole that takes up the whole couch. I sat in the old recliner across from them.

"So, how are you guys?" I asked.

"We are doing well. Honey, what about you? I thought you said you would have enough money to move out of this...place." She tried to hide her disgust, but it didn't work. She was used to elegant mansions equipped with chandeliers, huge fireplaces, a long table for eating, bathrooms twice the size of my bedroom, and a mountain of servants and maids that are there at their beck and call. Not a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment with a small living room, an even smaller kitchen, a dining room consisting of only a small table, and shitty furniture.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I did, but my landlord raised the rent, and I had to use some of my savings to pay for it." That was half the truth. Yes, my landlord _did _raise the rent, but I could pay for it easily. I've become attached to this apartment, as small as it is. It's comfortable.

Just then, the timer on the oven beeped. I stood up and went to my kitchen, turning off the stove and timer, stirring the pot of gravy and placing it on the table.

"Dinner's ready," I announced. Mom and Dad stood up and uneasily sat down at the table. Well, Mom did. Dad was alright with it. He was more laid-back. Everyone dug into the food (if you count my mom slowly cutting everything up into tiny pieces with a knife and chewing it slowly digging in). There was small-talk until the end of dinner. I stood up.

"Why don't we go for a walk? It's a nice evening." I just wanted to get out of such a closed-in area with my parents. My apartment was too small for three people.

My mom looked out the window. "I suppose. It does look like a nice night." My parents both stood up and walked to the door, putting there shoes/heels on.

"Go on out," I said. "I have to get my shoes." They left, and I ran to my bedroom, putting my shoes on. I also got out a cigarette and lit it, balancing it with my teeth. I walked out of my apartment and locked it. My parents weren't around. They must've been outside, then. I walked down the stairs and out to the front of the complex. I found my mom, and she gave me a frantic look. "Asuma, come over here. Quick!" What the hell? Did something happen to Dad? I ran over to her side and sighed in relief. Dad was on her other side, both staring at the scene in front of us. There were two boys, fighting. A teenage girl was by them, her expression pissed. One of the boys was kicking the other in the stomach, and the second one hissed in pain. I knew who he was, instantly. Shikamaru!

**-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

I was walking through the park, going toward a fountain. Earlier, I had some change and found a payphone. I called a friend. We agreed to meet up at the fountain. Surprising, right? I actually have friends. I sat down on a bench near the fountain, waiting. I sighed: my ankle was still hurting and sitting down helped to relieve the pain. The painkillers were wearing off and the throbbing began to come back. I rubbed my wrist and ankle, trying to sooth them. It only made it worse. Just fucking wonderful.

"Shika!" I smiled and looked up. Only one person called me by that horrid nickname.

"Hey, Ino!" I called back. Ino, her blond ponytail swishing ran, up to me. She was dressed in a lavender jacket over a black t-shirt, dark purple skinny jeans and black and purple high-tops.

Ino came up to me. "Stuff going on at home, right?" Only two people know of my "home troubles." One of them is Ino. The other is my best friend, Choji. He's out of town on vacation now, though. Usually I don't call on my friends if I need a place to stay, but looking for one tonight was too much of a drag. Besides, Ino said I could call her when I needed help, so it's not that bad. Right?

I nodded. "It's getting really troublesome."

She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "Shika, I think you really should-"

"No, Ino," I cut in. "I won't tell the police." She and Choji both were always harassing me about it. But they don't understand. Even through all the abuse, vocal and physical, I still can't say I hate my parents. I mean, c'mon. Could _you_ hate your parents? For some messed up reason, I still love them. I couldn't just turn them in to the cops. I would be unable to do such a thing.

Ino huffed. This was an argument we had often. "But Shika! You know what they do to you! Your father beats you, and your mother just stands by and watches. How can you _not_ turn them in?"

I sighed. "You don't understand, Ino. They're my _parents_."

She shook her head. "Whatever. Let's not talk about it anymore. You're obviously not going to listen. Let's get back to my place; my mom can help you with your bruises." Her parents know of my home life, but I don't let them say anything to anyone. So, technically, six people know, because Choji's parents know, too. But no one else did. No teachers, or other students. Absolutely no one. I liked it that way, so people can't feel bad for me. I don't need sympathy, thank you.

We stood up, and I winced. "Did he strike your ankle?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. My ankle and wrist could be either broken or fractured, I may have a concussion, and there's a ton of bruises. But don't worry, it's not anything bad." I shrugged.

Ino gave me a worried look, and we began to walk out of the park. We were walking down the sidewalk when someone came out of an alley. Let's see what he could be doing in an alley. 1.) He could be a rapist and he wants to rape Ino, me, or _both_ of us. 2.) He could be a mugger and here to beat us and steal our valuables. Not that I have any, but Ino probably does. 3.) He could be someone we know, and who hates us. 4.) He could be a stalker I never knew I had, or who Ino was trying, but not succeeding, to get rid of. It turned out to be number three. It was Kiba Inuzuka, a guy the same age as us, and who has an unhealthy addiction to dogs. And, I learned not long ago, who is severely homophobic. Yay, me.

Kiba had a gray jacket and jeans on. His brown eyes were filled with disgust and anger. They were identical to my father's. His dog Akamaru sat at his side.

"Hey, queer," he sneered. I don't have time for this shit. I don't say anything. "What? You're not denying it?" he went on. Can you please close your fucking mouth? "I always knew you were a cock-sucker."

"Get out of here, Inuzuka," Ino intervened. She was always tough like that, except around Sasuke Uchiha, who she has a major, not-so-secret crush on.

He laughed. "Wow, you have to get someone to defend you? And a girl, too!" He stepped forward. "Maybe I should fight her, too!" He swung at her. That was the final straw. I will **not **stand by and let my friends get hurt. Never.

I snarled and punched Inuzuka in the face. He stumbled back, surprised. His face grew dark. Yup, he's pissed. Great. He yelled and grabbed my shoulder. I try to escape, but he was bigger and stronger than I was. He punched me in the jaw, and my teeth smashed together._ 'Ow...'_

"Kiba, quit it!" I heard Ino yell. He laughed again and twisted my arm. I groaned quietly, so he wouldn't hear, and I collapsed to the ground. He looked down at me with evil eyes and raised his foot. And I thought I only had to worry about this at home...

Someone, an older lady, screamed, "Asuma, come over here. Quick!" Kiba kept kicking me. Ino kept yelling at Kiba to stop. The lady kept crying, and a man-her husband maybe?-kept comforting her. Wait, Asuma? As in, my teacher?

"Hey!" a young, masculine voice yelled. "Get off him!" Kiba looked over his shoulder. "Mr. Sarutobi?" he said incredulously.

"Yes!" Asuma answered. "Now, get off!" Kiba's face turned dark again, and he landed one more stomp. This time on my ankle. My injured one. I yelled out and gripped my leg in agony. If it wasn't broke before, it definitely was now.

Kiba got off me. "Come on, Akamaru," he muttered. I slowly stood up, and he said, louder, "You better stay out of my way, fag." I grunted and gave him the finger, even though he couldn't see it. Ino was by my side, helping me up. She wouldn't stop asking if I was okay. Finally, I sighed and said, "I'm _fine_, Ino."

"But he nearly made you throw up!" No, not really, considering I haven't had anything to eat yet, today.

"Really, Ino, I'm fine." Why does she have to worry like that? It's not like I'm dying, or anything. I hate when she or Choji worry on my well-being. It makes me feel even more weak than I already am.

"Shikamaru? Are you alright?" Asuma asked. I turned to him and _almost_ laughed. He was dressed formally, albeit on the very low edge of formal. He had on a white dress shirt with black dress pants and black shoes. His hair looked washed and the smell of smoke was almost substituted with the scent of soap. He smelled...nice. Wait, what? Did I just say that about my _teacher?_ That's messed up.

I looked up at him. "Yeah, fine."

"But that other boy! He was horrible! Why would he do such a thing?" the lady asked.

Asuma sighed. "People are like that, Mom. Especially teenagers. Right, Shikamaru?" He looked at me with a _'agree with me or else'_ look in the eyes.

I nodded. "Yeah." I could sense the lady and man staring at my face and neck, which probably had some added bruises. Can this day get any worse?

My teacher frowned. "Shikamaru...What happened to your neck?"

Shit. Okay, time to lie. "Kiba."

"But I only saw him kicking you." He looked skeptical.

I shrugged. "He had his hands on my throat before you came out."

Asuma's mom shook her head. "No, he wasn't. I saw the whole thing, and he never touched his neck." Gee, thanks, lady.

I huffed and stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Shikamaru," Asuma began. I cut him off with, "Listen, me and Ino gotta get going. See you around, Sarutobi." I started to walk away, Ino glancing at me occaisonally.

Asuma yelled my name. I looked back. "Be careful," he said. "And it's **Mr.** Sarutobi, to you!" I chuckled-with joy, I might add-and kept walking. Ino was looking mischievously my way. "What?" I asked in annoyance.

"You like him." What. The. Fuck. Me, _like_ somebody? Especially Asuma! He's my teacher for Christ's sake!

"Like who?" I decided to do the dumb act.

"Mr. Sarutobi! Admit it, you like him!"

I shook my head. "Okay, one: he's my _teacher_, Ino. It's illegal. And two: _How_ did you come up with _that?"_

She smirked. "Don't tell me you didn't notice how he smelled. And the way he was dressed! You were staring at him. And when you laughed. You didn't snort with scorn, you actually chuckled! You never laugh anymore."

I sighed. "Really, Ino? I don't like him!"

"Whatever you say..." She still had that smirk.

I wasn't only trying to convince Ino, I was trying to convince myself. I don't hold any feelings for Asuma. None. But then why do I have this warmth in this chest, and I can't hold back smiling? Hmph, it was because he was the first adult to show concern for me, other than Ino and Choji's parents. Yeah, that was it. Still, though...

**-x-x-x-**

**A/N: I'm SO sorry to those Kiba fans (including me!). I didn't want to make him a jerk, but he was the only one I thought of. I feel horrible... D: Anyway, Thank you to those who reviewed! I appreciate it! :) Please, feel free to review and/or PM me ideas/what I could do better! There's also a poll on my profile, so go ahead and check it out!**

**~Sina~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: This chapter gets into Shikamaru's thoughts and feelings with a bit more depth.

I am **_SO_** sorry about not updating until now. I've been busy, and being lazy doesn't really help, either. I can be so much like Shika sometimes. XD I have a poll on my profile. If you guys could please check it out and leave a vote, I would be so happy!

Thank you to all of whom that reviewed/alerted/favorited this! And a special thanks to **Kittykanra** for PMing me and getting me to move my lazy ass. :)

**Please note that this STORY will have the following: Excessive Bad Language, Child Abuse, Slash/Gay Romance, Saying God's/His Son's Name In Vain, Cutting, Student/Teacher Relationship. If any of these offend you, please DO NOT go any further. Plus, there will be OOC Characters. (Shikaku, Yoshino, and Kiba)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, etcetera etcetera. **

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Asuma's POV)**

"Mr. Sarutobi, are you okay?" a student asked.

I looked up. "Wha...? Oh, yeah, fine."

"You seem out of it today, sir," she continued. It was Ino Inoichi. She was one of my better students.

I smiled. "I'm fine, Ino. Just a bit tired, I'm afraid."

She smiled back. "Okay, sir. Just making sure you weren't sick or anything." Ino went back to her work. I sighed quietly and ran a hand through my hair. It might be a bit childish, but I blame Shikamaru on my lack of sleep. After the run-in with Kiba, he just shrugged it off and walked away with Ino. Afterward, my mom got worried for me, saying where I lived was a bad neighborhood. Then she said that she had a lawyer friend, and he could get me into the firm he worked at. I knew they didn't just come for their only son's company. Why should they? They're only worried about how their image looked, and their son living in a shitty apartment, being a teacher, was bad for it. With the money I would earn as a lawyer, my mom said, I could get a better house. And not look like a disgusting stain on my parents' reputations. Of course, she never said that, but she didn't have to.

Anyway, after they left-_finally,_ I might add-I was lying on my bed, thinking of Shikamaru. He **didn't **get those bruises on his neck from Kiba, I know that. I knew I saw _something _on his neck as I saw him walk past me while I was in the car. I tried to think it through; tried to think of a reasonable explanation of his injuries. And, of course, his limping. He also had a wound on one of his legs. I couldn't think of anything that could explain it, other than another fight. But Shikamaru doesn't seem like the type of guy to look for fights. I lied on my bed, looking up at my ceiling, thinking about him almost all night. I barely got any sleep.

_'Damn you, Shikamaru,' _I thought, rubbing my face. _'How dare you have me lose sleep over you.'_ I froze. I lost sleep over a student. Of course, I lose sleep grading papers and the such, but this was different. This wasn't even related to school work or his attitude in class. _'I'm only worrying about his well-being because it's natural to do so.' _Yeah, that was it. It wasn't because I had feelings for him or anything. Damn it, quit thinking of him.

The bell rang and the students left the room. I rubbed my face again, and I heard Ino say, "Don't worry about Shikamaru, sir. He's all right. It's when he's silent and brooding that you should worry about him." I slid my hands away from my face to see Ino smiling at me before walking out of the room, blonde ponytail swishing about. _'How did she...?'_ I thought, then shook my head. I stood up and stretched before grabbing my wallet and going to the cafeteria to buy lunch.

I was in line, and I was scanning the lunch room, not sure what I was looking for. Actually I knew what I was looking for, I just don't want to admit it. Finally, I found what I sought. Shikamaru. He was sitting at an empty lunch table with Ino. I could tell by her blonde hair. Ino was nibbling on a sandwich. Shikamaru wasn't eating anything, and he had his head in his arms on the table. He was wearing the same thing as yesterday, except he had a gray sweatshirt instead of black. Ino pushed a wrapped sandwich towards him, and he pushed it back. Ino pushed it again, saying something I couldn't hear. Shikamaru looked up, replied, and pushed it back once more before setting his head down again.

I paid for my lunch, and decided to do something "sneaky," if you could call it that. There was a door that went to the courtyard by the table they were sitting at. I simultaneously walked toward the door and table. As I got closer, I could hear the conversation.

"You need to eat _something,_ Shikamaru!" That was Ino.

"I'm not hungry, Ino," Shikamaru replied lazily.

"You're never hungry anymore!" Ino looked exasperated.

"Yes, I am. Just not now. Besides, my stomach's hurting. I wouldn't be able to keep anything down, even if I _was_ hungry."

Ino looked at him with puppy eyes. "Please, Shika? Just half a sandwich. For me?"

Shikamaru looked at her and sighed. "Fine." He grabbed half her sandwich and bit into it. "Women," he grumbled.

Ino glared at him. "What about women, Shikamaru?"

"You all have that look that makes any man do whatever you want."

She smiled and gave him puppy eyes again. "Like this, Shika?"

Shikamaru scowled. "And you wonder why I'm gay." I froze. Did I hear him right? Did he just say he was...gay?

Ino laughed. "Oh, quit it. The female species isn't that bad." She looked over at me. "Mr. Sarutobi? What are you doing here?"

I shook my head and smiled. "Just getting my lunch, Ino. Unlike what some of your classmates think, I'm not an immortal monster and need my energy, too."

She blushed and laughed quietly. "Of course, sir. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." This was why she's one of my favorite students. She was always kind and courteous.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Ino." I turned to Shikamaru. "How are you feeling? From yesterday?"

Shikamaru stared at the table. "Good. A bit sore is all."

I nodded. "Okay. Make sure you go to the nurse's office if you feel bad or anything." He nodded and nibbled the sandwich. "And remember, Nara, you have detention with me today."

He looked up at that. Something flashed in his eyes, but then it disappeared. "Don't worry, I'll remember." He paused and smirked. "Sarutobi."

I laughed and walked to the door again. I looked back and I faltered. Smack-dab on both sides of Shikamaru's neck were the bruises. That wasn't what made me pause though. Instead of the bruises being blobs like then normally are, they were hand-shaped.

Like someone gripped his neck and choked him.

As I walked out to the courtyard, the practical part of my brain started to come up with something...well, practical. _'It could've been from Kiba, like he said. Your mother couldn't have been there for the entire time. Or they could be birth marks you haven't noticed before. Or, hell, you could be seeing things, and it could all be in your imagination.' _Yeah, I didn't really like the practical part of my brain. Guess I'll be asking questions in detention.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

I fell forward and landed on my hands and knees, my things flying everywhere. "Watch where you're going, fag!" someone yelled and kicked me in my ribs, which were still bruised from yesterday. I hissed and stood up, gathering everything in my arms. Sure enough, just as I thought, Kiba told everyone that I was gay. I wasn't really keeping it a secret, though, but whatever Kiba said got people riled up.

Ino helped me up. Before she could ask, I said, "I'm fine, Ino, don't worry." She just smiled sadly and nodded. It was right after lunch and I was going to my next class. That talk with Mr. Sarutobi was a bit...weird, I guess. I was arguing with Ino about my not eating, and through all that I saw him walking by. I wouldn't have noticed this, except that he was looking at us, especially me. When I commented I was gay, I could see him freeze. I smirked in my mind. _'Don't want to have detention with a gay guy now, do you?'_ I thought. I was hopeful until he mentioned that it was still on. I groaned in mind, and just did the usual smart-ass facade. He flowed with it, and didn't seem to care.

"...and you're not even listening to me are you, Shika?" Ino said.

I shrugged. "Sorry, Ino, just thinking about stuff." I zone out a lot, and by now she's use to it.

She smirked. "I think I know what!" she squealed.

Oh God, really? Not this shit again... "Ino, no, I'm not thinking about Sarutobi." Well, I was, but not in that way!

"Yes, you are! Don't deny it. He's thinking about you, too!"

I snorted. "Yeah, right. Ino, no offense, but no one thinks about me. I'm just the gay fag who can't get do anything right." I stopped next to a door. "I have to get to class now. See ya, Ino."

"Shika!" Ino grabbed my arm. "Don't you ever think that. Okay, Shika? Don't. You. Ever." I just shrugged and entered the room. I heard her sigh and walked to her class. She's just trying to make me feel better. Nobody other than herself, her parents, Choji and his parents likes me. It's just fact. They can't get along with me, and I can't get along with them. Really, I'm just a waste of space, like my father says I am. I can't do anything right, and come on, guys are supposed to like girls. They aren't supposed to like other guys. Honestly, the only reason I haven't killed myself was because I didn't want to do that to Ino and Choji. It would break their hearts, and I would feel even more guilty. I sighed and sat down before looking out the window with my head held by my palm. I knew if I fell asleep, no one would notice because even the teachers don't like me. Except for maybe Asuma Sarutobi. He was the only one who asked if I was alright or paid any attention to me. He was the only one who would give me detention because the others wouldn't want to deal with me. In a way, I thank him. At least then I know that someone out of my little circle cares enough to punish me.

Suddenly, the bell rang and class was over. I shot up and winced. Even though Mrs. Inoichi is probably the best nurse in the world, my ribs and stomach were bruised and they ached. I grunted and grabbed my things, walking to my locker. I didn't wait for Ino to show up. She shared her next class with Sasuke Uchiha, and she spent as much time as she could in his presence. I never had a problem with it; she had her own life and I can take care of myself. So I walked to my next class. Along the way, I received dirty looks, gestures and snide remarks. I've been pushed a couple time. Every day was like this, but recently it seemed to be getting worse. I was used to it, though. I just ignore them or give angry remarks and gestures of my own.

Soon, after three classes and being pushed down five times, it was finally the end of the day, and my last class. Algebra II with, you guessed it, Asuma Sarutobi. Nothing really happened, just that he constantly chose me to answer questions, and I constantly got them wrong. Why not just act like the stupid kid people make me out to be? It's a lot easier. But when I saw the disappointment in Sarutobi's eyes, I felt something I often felt while with Ino or Choji. Guilt. I felt like I let him down. It was the first time in a while I felt like that due to another person other than my friends. People gave up on me a long time ago. He didn't seem to, though. It seemed like he knew I was smarter than I, and everyone else, portrayed me as.

The bell rang and everyone sprung up and escaped the classroom. Everyone, except for me. I just slumped in my chair and began the torture of sitting around in detention. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sarutobi staring at me. I turned my head toward him. "Yeah?"

He quickly looked down. Hmph, must've thought I didn't notice him. "Nothing, it's just that...well, those bruises on your neck..." He trailed off.

I sighed. "I told you, I got them from Kiba."

Sarutobi shook his head. "No, you didn't. I know you didn't. I saw them before."

I glared at him. "Oh really? Where? The local supermarket?" I snorted. "I don't need anyone's pity or campassion, Sarutobi, especially from a teacher."

He looked at me, hurt and disappointed. I felt the guilt again, and I sighed. "Sorry," I mumbled. "Didn't mean to snap at you."

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. You're a teenager, that's what you do. You snap at people and have major mood swings." I gave him a ghost of a smile. He turned serious. "In all seriousness though, Shikamaru, where did you get those bruises? You had them before Kiba, er, attacked you." I knew what he was talking about. When he was in his car and I was walking on the sidewalk. I moved my shoulders up.

"I didn't get them from Kiba," I said after a while. I wanted to keep it open, have him suggest something, and agree upon it. There was no way in hell I was going to tell him the truth.

Asuma nodded. I could tell he was happy that I was admitting it. "Okay. Then where did you get them from?"

Nice direct question. Okay, time to think quickly. "I was walking by a person on a ladder, painting. He accidentally tipped the can and it fell on my neck." There. That sounded convincing, didn't it?

He frowned. Shit, did he know I was lying? But then he nodded. "You should be more careful."

I nodded. "Yes, sir." I glanced at him and my insides froze. He was looking straight at me. Disbelief was covered by something else, but I could still see it. I quickly looked up to the clouds. My face was calm and collected, but on the inside, I was freaking out. _'What does he think? Does he think it's a family member? An abusive boyfriend? Will he start asking around? About me, about my family?'_ No. No, I need to calm down. Freaking out like this won't do anything.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Asuma noticed. "You okay, Shikamaru?"

I answered, "Fine, sir." He nodded slowly and went back to doing whatever he was doing. The air was tense and heavy. I couldn't have been more grateful to get out of there.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Asuma's POV)**

Why did Shikamaru lie? How he got the bruises couldn't have been that bad. Right?

**-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N: **Review if you're in the mood. Review even if you AREN'T in the mood. Just a "good job!" makes me happy. :) Any ideas/suggestions? Let me know! Either in a PM or a review, I would love it.

**~Sina~**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hello! After 14 days I got it up! Yay! Thanks, **Kitty!** :)

**Please note that this STORY will have the following: Excessive Bad Language, Child Abuse, Slash/Gay Romance, Saying God's/His Son's Name In Vain, Cutting, Student/Teacher Relationship. If any of these offend you, please DO NOT go any further. Plus, there will be OOC Characters. (Shikaku, Yoshino, and Kiba)**

**Disclaimer: **You guys already know I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the songs _Coming Down, Headstrong, _and _Someone Who Cares._ Five Finger Death Punch, Trapt, and 3 Days Grace do.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

I opened the door to my home to find it silent. I sighed in relief; no beating tonight. At least, I hoped not. Both my parents worked a lot, and really? I loved it. The less time I spend with them, the better.

I walked up to my bedroom and threw my backpack in it. I went back downstairs and sat on the table, staring at the kitchen. The oven, microwave, sink, dishwasher, fridge and freezer were all in a semicircle with an island counter in the middle. Dishes were in the sink, waiting be cleaned. And you know who has to clean them? Me.

I grunted and got off the table, walking toward the sink. I got out the iPod in my pocket. Ino gave it to me for some odd reason (a present for something, I think...), and she threatened to push me down the stairs if I tried to return it. So I kept it, and she also gave me a couple 100 dollar iTunes gift cards. I got all the music I wanted downloaded to it.

I plugged the music device into its iHome and turned the volume up. _Coming Down_ by Five Finger Death Punch roared through the house. I stood there, my eyes closed, listening to the song, before I started to pile the dishes into the dishwasher. I sang as I did the chore.

_It's caving in around me_  
_What I thought was solid ground_  
_I tried to look the other way_  
_But I couldn't turn around_  
_It's OK for you to hate me_  
_For all the things I've done_  
_I've made a few mistakes_  
_But I'm not the only one_

_Step away from the ledge_  
_I'm coming down_

_I could never be_  
_What you want me to_  
_You pulled me under_  
_To save yourself_  
_(Save yourself)_  
_You will never see_  
_What's inside of me_  
_I pulled you under just to save myself_

_Was there ever any question_  
_On how much I could take?_  
_You kept feeding me your bullshit_  
_Hoping I would break_  
_Is there anybody out there?_  
_Is there anyone who cares?_  
_Is there anybody listening?_  
_Will they hear my final prayers?_

_Step away from the ledge_  
_I'm coming down_

_I could never be_  
_What you want me to_  
_You pulled me under_  
_To save yourself_  
_(Save yourself)_  
_You will never see_  
_What's inside of me_  
_I pulled you under just to save myself_  
_(Save myself)_

_It's caving in around me_  
_(Caving in)_  
_It's tearing me apart_  
_(Tearing me)_  
_It's all coming down around me_  
_(Coming down)_  
_Does anyone_  
_Anyone_  
_Care at all?_

_I will never be_  
_What you want me to_  
_You pull me under_  
_I pull you under_

_I could never be_  
_What you want me to_  
_You pulled me under_  
_To save yourself_  
_(Save yourself)_  
_You will never see_  
_What's inside of me_  
_I pulled you under just to save myself_

People say I have a nice voice, but I disagree. I don't. I just like to sing; it calms me down, provides another type of "world" I can escape to. I can also play the guitar, but I don't play very much. There's an acoustic guitar in the band room at school and I sometimes go in there to play when no one's around.

When I was done, I dried my hands off with a towel, grabbed my iPod and its dock and ran up to my room, closing the door. I collapsed on my bed and turned my music up so loud my ears rang. I got my homework out and began it.

An hour later, I was done and I sighed after putting everything back in my bag. I went downstairs, iPod in hand, and walked out of the house. It'll be three hours until my father and mother got home. Dad works as a police officer and Mom is a secretary. Good money, I guess.

I walked down the sidewalk, not really knowing where I was headed. My ear buds were in, music blasting. If someone was standing a yard or so away from me, they would be able to hear every word perfectly. That's the way I liked it. Yeah, people say you'll go deaf, and it's dangerous because you can't hear anything over the music. But who cares? As I said, music is like a whole new world for me. I don't want to know what's going on around me, what's all wrong with people. I have enough problems of my own, I don't need anyone else's.

Eventually, I made it to the park. I found a bench and sat down. I hunched over my iPod, but winced. My ribs were still pretty bruised, and they ached like no other. My neck was still pretty bad, but Ino lent me some makeup to cover them up slightly. Most people would just think it was a trick of the light. Well, except for Asuma. I still don't know why he doesn't believe my lies. Most people do. Hell, he's the only one who doesn't. It's annoying me and if I'm being truthful, it's scaring me. He's doubting me, so he's one step closer to learning about my secrets. My many, many secrets. I don't like it. If he finds out, he'll try to get me out or something. I don't need that. Neither do my parents. I'm seventeen and a junior. After this, I only have one more year.

I leaned back on the bench and looked up at the sky. Clouds were moving around and I watched them, calming down. Cloud-watching always relaxed me. I was so lost within the music and clouds that when the chorus for _When I'm Gone _by 3 Doors Down came on, I sang along.

_So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared  
And love me when I'm gone  
Everything I am  
And everything in me  
Wants to be the one  
You wanted me to be  
I'll never let you down  
Even if I could  
I'd give up everything  
If only for your good  
So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone  
Love me when I'm gone..._

I also didn't see the little girl sitting next to me. "You sing pretty," she said. I snapped my eyes toward her and popped out a bud. "Uh, thanks?" I said. I don't normally get compliments. Even if it was from a kid, it was nice.

The girl nodded and giggled. "You sing almost as good as my uncle."

I quirked an eyebrow, which made her giggle more. "Almost? I'm not as good as him?"

She shook her head. "Nope! No one's good or gooder than him." Ah, toddler speak. It's funny, isn't it?

"Who's your uncle?" I asked politely. I might be a douche to everyone, but how can you be mean to little kids? They don't mean any harm, they're just curious.

"Uncle 'Suma!" she exclaimed. 'Suma? 'Suma...Oh, fuck. **A**suma. _'Maybe there's another Asuma? It's a common name...kinda. Not really. Goddammit, why does this always have to happen to me? The person I least want to see shows up everywhere.'_ I sighed quietly before turning back to the girl.

"Really now? I think I actually know your uncle."

She was about to answer when a female called out, "Sansa! There you are. Do you know how worried your father and I were?" A middle-aged woman that looked strangely familiar even though I never seen her before ran up to the girl and picked her up, hugging her. A man was right beside her. He hugged the little girl also. I'm pretty sure they're her parents.

"And what did I tell you about talking to strangers?" the woman chastised.

"But Momma!" Sansa said. "He knows Uncle 'Suma. And he sings pretty like him, too!" Sansa's mother looked over at me.

"Is this true? You know Asuma?" she asked.

I nodded. "Uh, yeah. He's my teacher."

"Oh, of course! What's your name?" Ugh, questions. I hate questions. Before I could answer, though, someone I would recognize anywhere walked up to us. "I see you found Sansa, Nami. Good," Asuma said with a relieved look on his face. Then he noticed me. "Shikamaru? What're you doing here?"

I snorted. "It's a public park," I retorted. I'm sorry, but every time I communicated with him, he always got a bit closer to my secret. I'm just trying to keep him at bay.

Was that a bit of pink in his cheeks? Well, it is a bit chilly outside. Surely, I didn't do that... "I know. I meant why you're around here. With my niece. Was she bothering you?"

I shook my head and was about to say something when Sansa spoke up. "Uncle 'Suma! He's a good singer like you!" Asuma stared at me with a confused look that was covering something I couldn't figure out. I looked away.

"You sing, Shikamaru?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Not really. But it sounds like you do."

He coughed uncomfortably. "Kind of...I mostly just do it at family gatherings. What about you?"

I shrugged, staying silent. Sansa bounced up and down in front of me. "C'mon, Shika!" Great, now I have a little girl calling me that. "Sing something! Please?" I sighed.

"Fine," I said. I slid through the music on my iPod. I found a song and put my thumb over the screen, looking up at them. "It'll probably won't be that good, just so you know." I pressed down.

**-x-x-x-x**

**(Asuma's POV)**

How could he say it might be bad? His singing is phenomenal! At once, I recognized the song. _Someone Who Cares_by Three Days Grace. His voice was so smooth and beautiful. But it was rough with emotion at the same time. To think he's bad is horrible! He got right in the song, in his own world. His eyes were half-closed, and it didn't look like he was looking at us anymore. It was like he thought the song described him. _'Maybe it does...'_ No. Don't say that. He _does _have people that care about him. Friends and family. _'But what if he doesn't? _You_ could be that person.'_ No! I'm his teacher. Yes, I can care about him, but I can't get that close. It's against the rules.

In the middle of the song, I couldn't take it anymore. I began to sing along with him.

_Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?  
When it's easy enough to find someone  
Who looks down on you  
Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who can keep it together  
When you've come undone?  
Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?_

I swear this time it won't turn out  
The same 'cause now I've got myself to blame  
And you'll know where we'll end up  
On the streets that is easy enough  
To find someone who looks down on you

Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?  
When it's easy enough to find someone  
Who looks down on you  
Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who can keep it together  
When you've come undone?  
Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?

It didn't even look like he noticed I joined in. I looked around as we sang and smiled. Nami, my sister, and her husband Xaiver were smiling or had a stunned look on their face. My nephew, Nico, who was thirteen, was staring at Shikamaru with honor and respect. Sansa, only five, was giggling and grinning.

Shikamaru's iPod switched to a song with a hard guitar and a lot of drums and he turned it off. Everyone cheered and clapped. I laughed and grinned, looking over at Shikamaru. It looked like he was blushing and shrugging. Sansa laughed and sat on the bench next to him. She hugged him, and he stiffened. It seemed like nobody else noticed because they were still going. Shikamaru stood there for a moment, astonishment in his eyes, before slowly bringing his arms around and returning the hug lightly. She pulled back and giggled, and he smiled. _'He has a beautiful smile.'_ I froze. Damn, did I really say that? Shit, stop thinking thoughts like those! It'll just get you in trouble!

"Mama, Daddy!" Sansa said happily. "Can Shika have dinner with us?" _'Please?'_ Oh god, just shut up right now.

Nami glanced at Xavier. "I don't know sweetheart. What about his parents?" Shikamaru shrugged.

"It's okay," he said softly. "They'll be fine with it. Well, wait...let me check the time." He looked on his iPod. "Yeah, it's fine."

Xavier smiled. "That's it, then," he announced. Sansa squealed happily and grabbed for Shikamaru's hand. He had small hands, slender. They looked soft. _'I wish it was me holding his hand.'_ Fuck, mind, **shut up!** I groaned aloud. Nami looked over at me. "Asuma? Are you okay? We don't have to go to dinner, if you're feeling unwell." I shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I just forgot to grab some papers from school is all," I said.

Shikamaru looked at me. "And you just thought of that now? Randomly?" I could tell he saw through my lie.

I nodded. "Yes. They were important papers." Shikamaru gave me a _'I know you're lying, but I won't say anything' _look before Sansa started talking to him like he was her best friend of five years. He laughed and smiled all the time. _'His lips look so kissable.'_ Fuck, this is gonna be a _**long**_ dinner.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N:** I don't know what to think of this chapter...Meh, I guess. Tell me what you guys think of it, because I can't seem to make up my mind. And I made up Asuma's niece, nephew, sister, and brother-in-law. :) See ya!

**~Sina~**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **This is a day early from on time! YAAAAY!

Disclaimer: DOn't own Naruto. and I don't own any of the songs I used. and don't own iPod stuff. (Serious, have an mp3 :P)

[Insert my usual warning thing] SOrry, in a hurry right now!

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

"So, Shikamaru, do you like school?" Nami asked before biting into a piece of her steak. I agreed to come over to Sansa and her family's house for dinner, which I can't believe I did. I usually hate being around people I don't know, and people I _do _know, but Sansa begged me. And she already had those puppy eyes that every woman could do, and I couldn't say no. So, here I am. At some strangers' table, nibbling at their food (I still couldn't eat that much due to the bruises). Xavier and Nami were at the opposite ends of the table. I was between Sansa, who was on my left, and Asuma, who was on my right. Nico, Sansa's brother, was across from me.

I shrugged as I bit into a roll. "It's good, I guess," I said after swallowing. "Bit boring."

"See, Mom? My friends and I are not the only one who thinks it's boring!" Nico exclaimed while eating.

Nami rolled her eyes. "I never said you were the only ones. And don't talk with your mouth full." He closed his mouth. She turned to me and smiled. "Of course you think it's boring. You're a teenage boy, aren't you?"

I laughed, and it actually wasn't forced. It was real. I could actually relax around this family. Well, enough to have fun, I guess. I could sense someone staring at me and I turned to see Asuma. He quickly looked down at his food and dug in. Ever since that time in the park, he's been acting weird. I noticed he joined in only when, at the end, I heard his voice echo with mine. Sansa was right, he was excellent at singing. Better than me, but that's not hard. His voice is just...wow. That's the only way I could put it. Wait...why am I thinking of my teacher's voice? Why am I thinking it's good, soft...beautiful? '_Damn, quit it! You aren't supposed to get close to him! He'll find out about you're problems. You can't let that happen!'_ I sighed and Nami's husband, Xavier, noticed.

"Are you alright, Shikamaru?" he asked, caring.

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Just tired is all."

He looked at me and shrugged. "Okay. If you need to lay down, we have a couch, or the guest room if you don't want that."

I blinked, then smiled. "Thank you, sir."

Xavier laughed. "And please, don't call me 'sir'! It makes me feel older than I already am. Just call me Xavier."

Sansa looked up at him, surprised. "Daddy! You're not old!"

Xavier chuckled and messed with her hair. "Thanks, sweetie." She giggled and hugged his arm.

I looked at the exchange quietly. I remember far, far, _far_ back when Shikaku treated me like that. With love, compassion. I was Sansa's age, not quite old enough for school. He always used to give me piggy-back rides and joke with me. He'd hug me, tuck me in at night. It lasted all the way up to the third grade. That was when I started my lazy streak. He'd yell at me most of the time, only slapped me a few times, and rarely kicked me. But as I got older, the beatings got rougher. By the seventh grade, he was kicking me, screaming at me, punching me, throwing things at me...And when he found a magazine filled with gay porn under my bed, he whipped me with his belt and gave me the harshest beating I ever received. I couldn't get out of bed for a week and a half. I now have long, ugly scars going down my back. They will never heal, it was that bad. Since then, he only belted me four times.

Now, watching Xavier and Sansa, it got to me. It made me feel lonely, how I will never have someone like that, father-figure, lover, doesn't matter. No one would want me. _'Asuma might...By the way he's been acting tonight, he seems like he might be a good choice.'_ Yeah the fuck right. Why would Asuma, out of _anyone, _want me? I'm an asshole, stupid, lazy. I'm weak. I can't do anything right. Even if he wasn't my teacher, I wouldn't be good for him. I have too much baggage.

Great, now I got myself depressed. Just what I need. I sighed softly and shook my head. Nobody noticed; everyone was paying attention to something Sansa was saying and Nami was cleaning off the table for dessert. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "You alright?" Asuma quietly asked. Well, _almost_ everyone.

I nodded. "Yeah, fine. Just tired, like I told Xavier," I said softly.

"We both know that's a lie." I froze on the inside. What is wrong with him!? How can he always get under my skin, make me doubt he doesn't suspect anything? _'Well, of course he suspects something. Do you not remember detention?' _Thank you, mind.

I snorted quietly. "You don't know anything."

"That's where you're wrong," he said. What the hell? He was leaning closer. His hand was sliding down my arm, slowly. "I know there's something because you said I didn't know anything. I know you're stubborn, so you probably won't tell me. I know that nobody knows what's going on. I know those bruises weren't from Kiba _or_ a paint can. It would've damaged your spine." His breath was warm on my ear. I was trying hard not to shake. His hand was now at my wrist, going down to my hand. Mine was tiny in comparison. He held my hand, his fingers curling around mine. It was soft, warm. My stomach clenched, and a feeling exploded in my chest. It took all my self-control not to blush. My instincts, my brain, practically _everything_, was telling me to move, to make him stop. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. The thing was, I loved that feeling. The feeling of being touched, of the warmth, of _good _human contact, not beatings. His breath on my ear. His soft talking. I loved it. I loved it all.

And I was terrified because of that.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Asuma's POV)**

What the fucking hell was I doing? I'm touching him. He's my _student!_ This can't be **happening.** Why am I talking to him like that? Leaning over to his ear, whispering to him? It's something lovers do. I'm his _teacher._ But when I saw him with that sad, depressed look, I just needed to _know._ I had to learn why he had it, and also where he got those bruises. And, of course, holding his hand was a plus. They _were_ soft, like I thought, and his fingers were calloused. Did he play guitar?

"Let go," he whispered. His voice was shaky. I gripped his hand tighter. He shook, slightly. Oh, I was loving this.

"Why?" I asked. It sounded husky, like I was screaming a lot before speaking in an indoor voice. Shikamaru was taking deep breaths. It looked like he was trying to calm down.

"Isn't there some law that makes it illegal for you to do this? Sexual assault, or something?" he asked, his voice stronger but still quiet. Nami was still in the kitchen, and the others were talking amongst themselves.

"Technically this isn't sexual assault," I answered. "But I'll let you go-" He had a relieved look. "on one condition." He glared, his face hard and unreadable, but I could see light red cover his nose and cheeks.

"What condition?" he hissed. He licked his lips, nervously. Oh shit, he probably thinks I want to rape him or something.

"Just...the truth. How did you get those bruises?" Shikamaru gave me a skeptical look. I gripped his hand a bit tighter and brought me head down, inches from his face. I tried to keep looking at his deep brown eyes, but I occasionally sneaked a peek of his lips. They looked soft, small, pink. If I just leaned over, my mouth would be on his...

**NO! **Quit it! You're his teacher. T. E. A. C. H. E. R! Nothing more, so just stop it right now!

He leaned back and looked away. "Well, I..." Nami was walking back in, and I quickly let go of Shikamaru's hand and sat back in my chair. I was looking at the table, trying to calm down.

Nami placed a cheesecake in the center of the table, already having pre-cut pieces she did while in the kitchen. She gave everyone a piece, along with forks. Sansa was giggling as she ate it, and Nico was smiling. They were good kids, even if Nico could get into trouble sometimes. But he's a teenager, that's what he's supposed to do.

I looked over and saw Shikamaru nibbling at the dessert. He was probably freaked out by my grabbing him and the whole ordeal. Damn, I probably scared him... I just wanted to know. Something's happening to him, and I want to know. I want to help him, so much. He just won't let me get close...and now I'm afraid that I'll lose him because of what I did. He'll think I'm a pedophile and report me to the police. Then I'll be put in jail, and I'll never be able to see his face... _'You're only worried about him? What about your job? You'll lose it!'_ Weird thing is, I don't care about my job. Well, I do, but I think I would give up my job to help Shikamaru. I don't know why, I just would. When I saw him looking at Sansa and Xavier, he looked...sad? Or lonely. Then I got this feeling, this emotion. This epiphany. I don't want to see Shikamaru with that look. Ever. I want him to feel like he has someone to turn to, no matter what. But I may never have that chance now...

"Shika! Why aren't you eating? My mama's cheesecake is the goodest!" Sansa said. Shikamaru looked at her, a small smile on his face.

"It is really great," he said quietly. "I'm just not that hungry."

"But you didn't eat a lotta dinner either!" she said.

Xavier put a hand on her head. "Honey, Shika may just not be hungry at all. He might've gotten ate dinner before he ate here."

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah, Sansa. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier. You probably thought I didn't like it. But it was really good, honestly."

Nami laughed. "That's okay, sweetheart. No need to apologize." We all finished dessert, except for Shikamaru, who only ate a small portion of it. Nami just wrapped it up and gave to him to bring home for leftovers.

Shikamaru was stretching when Nico looked up at him. "Hey, uh...Shikamaru." Shikamaru was looking at him, waiting. It was obvious Nico was nervous. He wasn't a very talkative person, and barely said anything. "Could you and Uncle Asuma maybe...sing another song?"

Sansa grinned. "Yeah, could you? Please, Shika? Please, Uncle 'Suma?" She stared at me with puppy-eyes.

Nami said, "I don't know, Sansa, Nico. It's getting pretty late, and they both have to go home." I shrugged.

"I don't care," I said. "As long as it's okay with you and Shikamaru." I looked at him. He looked back, into my eyes. I could tell he was thinking of before, in-between dinner and dessert. _'He'll probably say no. I would, if I was him.'_

Then, to my utter surprise, he nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. "Sure." He got out his iPod and tossed it to me. "You can pick," he said.

I nodded, silently, and flipped through his music. He had a lot of rock. Actually, that was all of what was on there. Some good bands, too. Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Five Finger Death Punch...

I decided on a song and hovered my thumb over the pause/play button. "C'mon," I said. "It'd be more fun in the living room." Everyone followed me, and I sat down. Shikamaru was going to sit down on the other couch, but Sansa grabbed his hand and pushed him down...right on me. His back was in my face, his legs tangled with mine, his hands pushing off me and the couch. I could smell him, and I had to say, it was pretty fucking amazing. It was a mixture of pine needles, laundry detergent, and oranges.

I heard him yelp in surprise, and then, softer, hiss. Like he was hurt. Quickly, we untangled ourselves and he stumbled to the other end of the couch. He coughed uncomfortably.

"Sansa!" Nami chastised.

Sansa looked between her and Shikamaru. "Sorry, Momma. Sorry, Shika. I didn't meaned to. Thought Uncle 'Suma was somewhere else." She looked as if she was about to cry. Shikamaru smiled a bit.

"Hey, don't cry, " he said in his soft voice. "It's alright. It was just an accident, right?" Sansa sniffed and nodded before climbing up to cuddle into his side. It was a small thing, almost unnoticeable, but I saw his jaw clench. But then he relaxed and, cautiously, put his arm around her. "Want me and your Uncle 'Suma to sing?" he asked. I breathed in sharply. Coming from him, "'Suma" sounded so sexy... _'Shut up. Right now. Don't think about that. You're his teacher.' _I was struggling to calm down when I saw Nami's mouth move.

"What was that?" I eventually asked.

"I said, 'Is everything all right?'" Name said. I nodded.

"Yeah, never better." I could see Shikamaru, in my peripheral vision, and disbelief clouded his eyes. I shrugged and held up the iPod. "Wanna sing?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure." I pressed down on the screen and the beginning of _Broken_ by Seether began to play. I started to sing.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph; and I know it serves me well_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain_

Shikamaru joined in when the chorus began before going on to the second verse. Like before, his eyes became half-closed, and his voice was amazing.

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_You've gone away, You don't feel me here anymore_

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again_

_I want to hold you high, and steal my pain away_

_There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain_

_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore_

My voice floated away as everyone stayed in stunned silence. Sansa broke it with giggling and, "That was really good!"

Nami had a small smile on her face. "Yeah..it was, Sansa. And emotional. Very good, both of you. Shikamaru, is there any particular reason you have that song?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I just like it."

Xavier laughed. "That was brilliant! Just...brilliant. I knew that when I heard you in the park today," but that was...well, simply wonderful."

Nico shrugged. "I liked it. Good job."

I turned to Shikamaru. "From Nico, that's a _'holy shit, that was fantastic.'_" Shikamaru snorted and Nami gasped.

"Don't swear in front of Sansa, Asuma!" she yelped. I looked at her. "Sorry, sis, forgot." I stood up and stretched. "Well, I think I might get going, it's getting pretty late." I tossed Shikamaru his iPod and he looked at it.

"Shit!" he yelled before blushing. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that."

Nami smiled. "That's okay, dear. What is it?"

"I'm, uh, I passed my curfew." He looked down and my sister's eyes widened.

"Oh, I'm sorry we kept you over. Asuma can drive you home. Is that alright, honey?"

Shikamaru bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah, it's fine."

Xavier asked him jokingly, "What happens when you go over curfew? Do you get beat up by your parents, or something?"

Shikamaru flinched slightly before laughing, albeit, really nervously. "No...but it seems like it. My mom's a stickler for curfews."

Xavier laughed and Nami gave him a disapproving look. "Xavier! Parental abuse is nothing to joke about!"

He looked over at her and kissed her on the cheek. "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry." He got up and outstretched his hand to Shikamaru. "Nice meeting you, Shikamaru. You should come over sometime."

Shikamaru smiled. "Yeah, that'd be cool. Nice meeting you, too, s-Xavier." My brother-in-law laughed. Everyone said their goodbyes and within five minutes, I was in a car with Shikamaru, alone. I decided that if I ever wanted to get close to him, I should apologize about what I did.

I cleared my throat. "Listen, Shikamaru..."

He stopped me, though. "Sorry, sir, I just...I'm sorry." He was looking ahead, but I could see vibrant emotions in his eyes.

I turned my attention back to the road. "What're you sorry about, Shikamaru? I should be the one sorry...for, uh, doing what I did."

Shikamaru shook his head. "No, it was my fault. I didn't...tell you in detention, so you were just trying to get it out of me. No big deal."

This is a side of Shikamaru I never saw before. This wasn't the smart-ass side, or even the happy side he used with Sansa and everyone else at dinner. This side was emotional, serious, submissive even.

I glanced over at him. "Shikamaru..."

He was looking out the window. "This is my house, sir." I stopped, but he didn't get out. Instead, he turned to me, stared into my eyes. His eyes...they looked sad, depressed, serious. He took a deep breath. "Mr. Sarutobi..." he began, practically whispering, "I...can't tell you where I got the bruises. I just..can't. I'm unable to do so. It's...it'd just be...too hard..."

For the first time I saw, Shikamaru was close to tears. I unbuckled and leaned over, cupping his face with my hand. "Shikamaru..." I murmured. He looked up at me, astonishment in his eyes. Then I leaned over more and circled my arms around his body, hugging him. I felt him flinch before slowly relaxing. "Listen," I whispered. "I know those bruises on your neck aren't the only injuries you have. There's more. And, also, Shikamaru...you don't have to tell me now. You don't have to tell me ever, if you don't want to. I just...I want to help you. You are in need of help, and I want to give it to you." I nearly gasped when I felt his arms come out and go around my waist, pulling me closer. He dug his face into my chest. We stayed like that, for about five minutes, before he pulled away. He opened the door.

"I'm too far gone for help," he muttered so softly, I could barely hear it. Before I could say anything, he slammed the door shut and went up to his house.

What the fuck?

**-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N:** Too fast? just right? Please tell me! Too-emotional Shika? Yeah, i don't know... 'Till next time!

**~Sina~**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **You guys probably hate me right now! DX So sorry for the_ very _overdue update. Will you forgive me? "n.n But, hey, look at the bright side...it's the longest chapter yet :D And we're almost hitting 2o,ooo words! :D

******Please note that this STORY will have the following: Excessive Bad Language, Child Abuse, Slash/Gay Romance, Saying God's/His Son's Name In Vain, Cutting, Student/Teacher Relationship. If any of these offend you, please DO NOT go any further. Plus, there will be OOC Characters. (Shikaku, Yoshino, and Kiba)**

**Disclaimer: **Do I really need to put this every freaking chapter? You guys already know I don't own Naruto...

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

I limped through the hallway. People passed me, giving me the usual comments and glares, and I ignored them. I got to my locker and poured my stuff into it. Someone was pushed into my back, and I yelped and jolted in pain. The person skidded away, not saying anything.

It's been three days since the dinner on Friday, and let me tell you, it was the most mind-wrecking three days I ever had in my life. For one, I got home an hour and a half since my parents did, and my dad was _pissed. _Pissed as in whipped me and beat the shit of me until I was numb. I could barely move Saturday and Sunday. This morning, as I was walking down the stairs, my legs gave out and I rolled down. I now have a bruise on my cheek and a hurting wrist, added to the new gashes down my back and the bruises and cuts covering almost every inch of my body. At least he didn't choke me, so the bruises on my neck are pretty much faded to nothing. I don't even think he has a reason for beating me anymore. Pfft, I think it might just be the _'I'm your parent, deal with it'_ reason. Or maybe it's because I'm gay. I don't know.

I'm tired, too. Barely got any sleep throughout the weekend. It was because of _him._ Asuma. I swear, he wants me to lose as much sleep over him as possible. I barely got five hours over the three nights. Having my body throb in pain didn't help either. All I could think about was Friday night. It was...odd. More than odd, even. My emotions were so mixed up that day. They still are. I can't make heads or tails of it. On one hand, I hate how close he's getting, how I almost told him where I got the bruises. I hate how I loved the feeling of his hand on my hand, or how I didn't push him away. What I hate most of all, though, was when he hugged me, in his car. I should've yelled at him, ran out of the car, _something._ But no. I had to _hug him back. _My emotions were so screwed up. I just...he looked like he actually wanted to help, that he could protect me. But he can't protect me from my father. From me... I just don't know what to think anymore.

Of course, Ino knew something was up, but I didn't tell her what. She would freak. Both in a good way, and a bad way. I can already tell she would get excited if I told her what happened at dinner and in Asuma's car. But if I told her about the beating, she would go into the _'tell the police'_ rant again, and I didn't want that. And if she knew about the belting...I never told her about that, ever. She never found out, and I hope she never will. She doesn't need to worry about me more than she already does.

I sighed as I went toward the cafeteria. It was already lunch, and I hated it. In three hours, I'll have to face Asuma again, and I don't think I'd be able to do that. Too much emotion, too much complication, too much...everything. _'But what if he hugs you again? You liked that feeling, of having someone to hold on to.'_ Shut up, mind. I can't do that; I can't get closer to him than I am already. It would end in disaster. Besides, why would he hug me in the first place? I'm disgusting, I'm a freak, I'm weak... I don't deserve to live.

_'No, don't think that. Remember the last time you got on that mind set? So quit it right now.'_ I rubbed my wrists as I opened the door to the lunch room. I went straight for the door to the courtyard. I didn't want to deal with Ino just yet. Actually, I didn't even see her at our usual spot. She might've been hanging around Sasuke and that group, then.

I didn't get to the outside, though. Someone grabbed my shoulders from behind and pushed my face into the wall. "Hey, fag," the person said. It was Kiba. I grunted, and he grabbed one of my arms, twisting it. "What? Got nothing to say now?" He twisted it harder, and I winced. It fucking hurt. Then, without warning, a memory came into my mind.

_I was only eleven, in the last year of elementary school. By then, I had distanced myself from everyone, which wasn't hard once they realized my aloofness. I didn't know Ino or Choji, not until middle school. I came home from school one day. It was late, because I had to stay at school to finish the homework assignments I didn't do. I opened the door and immediately knew Dad was drunk because I smelled cigarettes and beer. He usually doesn't smoke unless he drinks. Anyway, I went in to the house and I saw him, on the couch, a bottle of beer in one of his hands, cigarette in the other. He looked up at me, and I remember gulping. He had what seemed like murder in his eyes. I don't remember exactly, but I think he asked me why I was home late. Still being the naïve child, I told him the truth. He then stood up and threw his bottle at me. Or maybe he didn't. Then he came at me, pushed me around a bit. He yelled at me, called me worthless and all those other wonderful words. I took it without complaint. Then he went to slap me, and I put my arms up to protect my face. He got mad at that and grabbed my arm, twisting it. I screamed and struggled against him. This made him angrier and he gripped my arm harder. I kept screaming and started to cry, though I don't think he saw my tears. I remember him snarling, his beer- and smoke-smelling breath filling my nostrils, "I'll give you something to scream about, punk!" Then he pressed me against his chest before slamming me into a wall. I heard a crack and my arm went numb, but only for a few moments. Right after, pain exploded in and around my lower arm. It felt like my blood was replaced with poison. I tried not to think about the pain, but it was hard as my father mercilessly beat me with his kicks and punches. Eventually, my body couldn't take it, and it went numb before I blacked out. _

Now, I know Kiba isn't my father. But in my mind, I keep hearing him say, _"I'll give you something to scream about, punk!"_ I got unnecessarily nervous, and I began to struggle against Kiba. He laughed, and from the deep depths of my irrational mind, I heard Shikaku's cruel laugh. I began to shake, and tears sprung to my eyes. _'Please, stop! Please! I didn't do...anything. I'll be good, I promise, just stop it!'_ I felt rough punches on my ribs and back and whimpered. _'Stop it! Please...just stop! Stop, stop, stop, stopstopstopstop**STOP!'**_ The beating ceased suddenly, and I collapsed to my knees, not expecting to be set free. I shook and took in short, shallow breaths. Then I couldn't take it anymore and looked up at Kiba, through blurry eyes. He had a look of utter surprise on his face, then it changed to disgust and ridicule.

"Jesus," he said. "You're such a baby. Begging me to stop in that girly tone? What the hell is wrong with you, freak? You sounded as if I was going to rape you or something. You're such a wimp." Begging? Oh...I actually pleaded him to stop, it wasn't just in my head. I shook my head before stumbling to my feet and running out to the courtyard. I could hear Kiba's sneering laughter behind me. I didn't stop running until I got halfway across the yard and leaned against a tree trunk. I slid down so I was on the ground, and put my knees up against my chest, resting my head on them. I was now sobbing, trying to be quiet as I could, tears streaming down my face. In my mind, I kept seeing **him.** Shikaku. His angry face, his ruthless legs, his grabbing hands. Every part of him. I just wanted him to go away. _'Get out! You already cause me enough grief at home! At least spare me while I'm at school. Please, go away!' _The thing was, though, he wouldn't go away. He wouldn't get out of my head, even in reality, he's still there. Maybe not physically, but he is...through me.

When I was little, people kept saying how much Shikaku and I looked alike. We have similar eyes, faces, hair color. Hell, even our hairstyles are the same. Before the beatings, I loved being so identical to my father. It felt cool that we were so alike. I hate it now, though. Every time I see myself in the mirror, I just see Shikaku. I see his cruel eyes, his vicious smirk. And every time I think, _'That's going to be me when I grow up. I'm going to be just like my father. A mean, uncaring bastard. Like father, like son, right?'_ So, now I barely use mirrors.

For the rest of lunch, I sat against the tree, shaking and drowning in my own misery. Sure, I put up a facade for everyone, where I don't care about anything or anyone. Usually, it works. But sometimes I just have to break down and cry. For the most part, it happens when I'm at home, in my room, in the middle of the night. Sometimes I even lose track of my emotions in front of other people (i.e: Friday night, in Asuma's car), but I would either get away or lie (even though I did neither that night...). If it happens at school, I usually stay in the bathroom until school ends. But I was out in the open, and truthfully I didn't care. Screw everyone, they already think I'm a worthless freak. I'm just confirming the fact. These breakdowns...they're to help me not drown in all the emotions I'm keeping inside. If I never cried, never had these episodes, I would be going crazy. Are they necessary? Yes. Do I like them? Fuck no. I'm extremely vulnerable during those times, and I hated that feeling.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and I didn't move. I was in the same position I was before: knees pulled up to my chest, and my head laying on top of them. I could hear the regular noises of school, and students talking. I know the latest gossip would be me running out of the lunchroom, crying. _'Damn it, why am I so weak!'_ I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want to go back in there, knowing what awaited me. I didn't want to be ridiculed, yelled at, pushed, bullied. Not in the state I was in now. If I didn't feel like not living before lunch, I definitely don't want to now. My wrists started to itch in anticipation, like they did a year before. I used to cut, and Ino found out. She went berserk and kept all lethal objects away from me. She couldn't stop me when I was at home, though. That was when I got my razor and created a few shallow cuts every night. I know what you're thinking. _'Why am I cutting if I get the shit beaten out of me?'_ Well, cutting to me is...different. It's a kind of pain I can control. A kind of pain that I can lose myself into, go numb, think about nothing and everything. One night, though, I made a mistake. It was a bad time for me, and I blindly started to cut, not thinking where the razor was going. I struck an artery, accidentally, and there was way more blood coming out. At that moment, I didn't think anything of it. I just sat there, looking down. Long story short, my mom caught me in the bathroom and took me to the hospital. I had to have therapy for a few months, and throughout that time, I made up a whole bunch of lies, pretended to get "better". Why should I tell a complete stranger about my problems? It wouldn't help anything, at all.

I sighed again. The tears were slowing down, and I wiped my eyes. I sniffed and coughed a bit. I heard footsteps coming toward me, and I braced myself for them. But no mocking or berating came. The person sat down next to me and put a large hand on my shoulder. I looked up at them. It was Choji. He was dressed in gray sweatpants and a gray and red sweatshirt. His brown eyes were filled with worry and compassion. "You okay?" he asked in his soft voice. He must've heard what happened during lunch.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, my voice hoarse from crying. "I'm fine. Just needed to get away from everything."

He nodded and smiled. "Okay. I'm here for you if you want to talk,though."

"I know. Thanks, Choji." I paused. "Hey, when did you get back? I thought it was next week?"

Choji shrugged. "Eh, the vacation was nice, but I wanted to get back here, to see you and Ino."

I gave him a look. "But what about the food there? Was it good?"

He stared at me, his eyes wide. Never bring up food in front of Choji unless you're ready for a two-hour conversation. "Yes! It was more than good; it was delicious. You should've been there, Shikamaru. There was so much, I didn't know what to try first. There was this lobster that was _so _juicy, it was like heaven in my mouth! And..." So from there on, we talked about Choji's misadventures with the food he tried. We went from sitting to laying side-by-side (I tried to ignore the pulsing pain in my back), looking up at the clouds. Neither of us cared that we weren't in class, we just kept on talking.

Soon, though, it turned into the last class of the day, and Choji got up, offering his hand. I took it and stood up from the ground. I yawned as he said, "Well, we better get to class then. It was nice talking to you, Shika."

I gave a small smile. "Yeah, it was. Sorry for making you skip class."

He shrugged. "It was important." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Just know that I'm here for you, alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, Choji." He grinned at me before turning around at going to class. I yawned again and entered the school. The halls were empty: it was halfway through class. Being late already, I decided to take my time. I glanced at the clock as I opened my locker. It was 2:30. School ends at three, and it was the final class of the day. My last class was Algebra II, with Asuma. Well, I really hope it won't be awkward. I mean, he can't do anything while in class, could he? I don't think so.

I sigh loudly and slam by locker shut. I started to head to class, but I stopped by the bathroom first. I looked into the mirror, instantly seeing my father. I tried to hold that thought back as I looked at my disheveled appearance. My ponytail was coming loose and stray hairs were poking out and getting into my eyes. Speaking of my eyes, they were still pink and puffy from my crying. I grunted and re-did my hair before washing my face with cold water.

After I was done, I went to class.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Asuma's POV)**

"Everyone understand?" I asked as I finished the day's lesson. There were nods and muttering of agreement so I said, "Good. Now, turn to page 198 and do 1-50." Grumbling was heard around the room, and I glared at them before sitting down at my desk. I yawned and looked at the empty desk by the window. It was where Shikamaru usually sat. _'Where is he? Are the rumors true, or was it because of Friday?' _Ever since that night, he's been on my mind. How he acted in the car, those raw emotions when he said, _"I'm too far gone for help." _That especially got to me. What did he mean by that? Something is obviously happening with him, but will he ever tell me? Has he told _anyone?_ What if he hasn't? What if he's just keeping everything inside? That can't be good for him. And he might not be able to keep it in all the time, from what I heard..

Throughout the day, the students were talking of something that happened during lunch. Apparently, Kiba was doing something with Shikamaru, and the latter boy ran out to the courtyard, crying. If the things on Friday never happened, I wouldn't ever believe that. But from what I saw, he's keeping so many things inside, never voicing them. So maybe there was a crack in his armor, and his true feelings seeped through? _'Shut up right now. You sound like an idiot, or a person from a soap-opera or something..'_ I sighed and rubbed my face. Well, either way, it angered me. Students were joking about Shikamaru, calling him a fag and a baby. The person that made me the most pissed off was Kiba. He just kept sending jabs at Shikamaru, and he wasn't even there to defend himself. I was _so close _to giving him detention. But I didn't. I felt like if I did, and Shikamaru found out about it, he would get angry at me and distance himself from me. I can't allow that to happen. I actually made it my goal to find out what is going on with him, to have him open up to me.

I yawned again as the door opened and closed. I glanced up and saw Shikamaru. His face looked wet and his eyes were a bit red around the edges. What looked like a bruise was on his cheek. _'Was he really crying?'_ "Hey, crybaby!" someone yelled out. Shikamaru just grunted and went to his seat. He rested his head on his hand and looked out the window. I glared at the student who said that, and he immediately shut up. _'That's right, no one insults _my_Shikamaru!'_ …My Shikamaru? Really? Christ, I think I'm losing my mind.

"Shikamaru?" I asked. He didn't do anything, didn't make a sound. He kept looking out the window. "I just went over the lesson for the day. Do you want me to go over it with you?" Again, silence. I sighed, seeing nothing I say will do anything. If I try anything else, I'll make a scene, and that won't be good. "Okay, well, the homework is on page 198. It's 1-50, all." I gave him one final stare before looking down at the work on my desk. I couldn't concentrate on it, though. Shikamaru was all that filled my thoughts. I wanted to know what was going on, so bad that it almost hurt. I know it might sound stupid because I'm his teacher and I barely even know the boy, but still.

I looked over at Shikamaru. He still had his head sitting in his head, but his eyes were closed and his lips were parted slightly. He was sleeping. I rolled my eyes. _'Must've had a rough night.'_ Hm, maybe he was mulling over Friday? _'Of course he was. He doesn't seem like the type of person to do something and pretend it didn't happen three days later.'_ I grunted softly and went back to my work. Usually, if I caught someone in my class sleeping, I'd hit them softly over the head or throw my Expo marker at them. But it was Shikamaru. He was really getting to me, and the look of pure exhaustion in his eyes was obvious.

Twenty minutes of tense silence and the soft sound of pencils later, the bell rang. Students jumped up, putting their stuff away, and began to walk out of the room. Some of them bid me goodbye, and I nodded to them. I gathered my things into my bag and looked over toward the window again. Shikamaru was still sleeping. I have to say, he was kind of cute. The all around peaceful look to him. That look seemed so familiar... I sighed and walked toward him. I lightly grasped his upper arm of his unused arm and said, "Hey, Shikamaru. C'mon, school's over." He shifted around, and his eyes fluttered open. Oh wow, that's a beautiful brown color. But they were also puffy. So he _was_ crying. He wasn't focused on anything, not yet, and his voice was groggy when he muttered, "Wha...? What's going on?" I crouched down, sliding my hand down to his wrist. "I said school's over."

Shikamaru jerked away, fully awake, and looked out the window. "Oh, uh, thanks." He got up and yawned, rubbing his eyes. I stood up and glanced at him. He looked up at me. "Uh, yeah?"

I blinked and sighed. "Shikamaru, about Friday-" He cut me off with, "Don't worry 'bout it. What happened, happened, right? Can't change anything in the past." I stared at him, an incredulous look on my face. "B-but what I did was wrong...I should at least apologize." He shook his head. "No need, Sarutobi." His voice was gruff, as if he was trying to stop the conversation.

I nodded. "Well, okay." Shikamaru headed to the door. "Shikamaru." I heard him sigh as he stopped and turned his toward me. He didn't say anything, so I went on. "I...er...I heard something happened today. At lunch. That Kiba was doing something and-" He cut me off again. "It's nothing. Nothing happened. I'm fine." I frowned. "You came in late."

He said, "That doesn't mean anything. I went to the bathroom, didn't notice the time."

I cocked an eyebrow, even though he couldn't see it. "You were half an hour late."

Shikamaru shrugged and began to walk to the door. I then did something totally impulsive. I trailed behind him and, before he got to the door, wrapped my arms around his stomach. I felt him freeze, heard him gasp, before he started to struggle wildly against me. I wasn't expecting that, and I stumbled back on my ass. Shikamaru fell forward and landed on his side. I heard him whimpering, and I looked at him. His eyes were closed, his eyebrows scrunched together in pain, his bottom lip being bitten as if he's trying to be quiet.

_'Holy shit! I didn't know he was going to react like that...What the hell?'_ Something's obviously wrong with him. Something happened to him. That has to be it because no normal person would act like that. _'Geez, you're making him sound like a freak.'_ He isn't, though. I just want to know, just want to help.

I stared at him. "Shikamaru..." He froze and snapped his eyes open. "I-I h-have to g-go," he stuttered urgently. I never heard him stutter before. Something is obviously going on with him. I got up and went toward him, calmly. He flinched and looked away, whimpering softly. I reached for his hand slowly, quietly saying, "Shikamaru, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Kiba's nowhere near you. It's just me." I thought it was Kiba he was scared of. I grasped his hand, rubbing my thumb across his knuckles. His hand shook in mine, but he didn't pull away. He took a shuddering breath and shook his head. I sat down on my knees and scooted closer to him. I wrapped my other arm around his shoulders. "It's okay," I whispered.

Shikamaru shook his head again, and he laid it on my shoulder, close to my neck. "I can't take it," he mumbled. "He keeps...doing it. He just keeps on going, every day. He doesn't care about me, he never has. He thinks I'm a burden, a let-down." I felt something cool drip down my neck. Shikamaru sniffed, and I realized he was crying. But...is he talking about Kiba? He could be, but it sounds more...personal, though. Maybe Kiba was an ex? No, he doesn't seem to be gay. _'But Shikamaru didn't seem gay when you first met him.'_ True...

He was going on. "He takes his anger out on me. I guess I'm the perfect person for it. He already hates me. I guess I deserve it, too, really. I'm just...nothing. A disgrace. A lazy ass..." Shikamaru choked up before he started sobbing. It sounded like he was getting abused. Is he? Was it verbal, physical...sexual?

I let go of his hand and held his neck, supporting his head as if he were a baby. I kept whispering niceties to him, comforting words. He didn't seem to hear, but I didn't care. I just hold him as he wept, not caring that my shirt and neck were becoming drenched in tears.

After ten minutes, Shikamaru quieted down. Soon, he wasn't making a sound. He didn't remove himself from his place. There was no sound except for our breathing. I didn't want to break the silence, but I had to get answers.

I leaned away from Shikamaru, removing my hand from his neck. He looked up at me, through thick lashes. His face was red, especially around his eyes, and shiny trails of tears traveled down, near his chin and mouth. I reached forward with my hand and wiped a tear that was dripping down his face away, careful of his bruise. I tried looking at him in the eye, but he kept avoiding me. "Look at me, Shikamaru," I said softly. He looked down. I hooked two of my fingers under his chin and lifted it. He flinched but didn't do or say anything to stop it, and stared into my eyes. "Why are you flinching?" I asked. The boy shook his head and didn't answer. "Shikamaru," I paused. I'm usually a straight-forward kind of person, and this wasn't an exception. "What is this 'he' doing to you? Is he abusing you?" He licked his lips, but stayed quiet. "Please, Shikamaru, you can tell me. What is this guy doing?"

Shikamaru took in a shuddering breath. "I-I can't tell you..." It's just like when we were in the car. He looked so helpless, so _scared._

"Is he the same person who gave you the bruises on your neck and your cheek?" Now that I looked at his neck, I didn't notice them. They faded away. But the one on his face was vibrant, as if he got it only days before. He closed his eyes and slowly nodded. "Does it have something to do with Kiba? Is he your ex-boyfriend?" To my surprise, Shikamaru started to laugh, though it held no humor.

"That son of a bitch? Hell no. He's as straight as a ruler."

I smiled and chuckled softly. He snapped his eyes up, and scooted away from me. I raised an eyebrow. "What?" He stood up, flinching as he did, but still staring at me. No, not at me. _Behind_ me. I also got to my feet and followed his train of sight. He was looking at the clock. "What's wrong, Shikamaru?"

He bit his lip nervously before looking down at the ground. "Sorry, but I have to get going." He quickly made his way to the door and ran out.

"Shikamaru!" I yelled and followed him out to the hallway. By the time I got out there, he was already going down the hallway. "What's going on?" I yelled down to him.

He yelled back. "Sorry, but I have to get home!" Then he turned, and he was out of sight.

Huh? What teenager is that strict with their curfews? Hm, is that a part of what he's going through, maybe?

**-x-x-x-x-**

**(Shikamaru's POV)**

_'Shit. Fuck. Ow. Shit. Fuck. Ow. Shit. Fuck. Ow.'_ That was going through my head as I walked-actually, it was more like _limped_-out of the school and toward home. Today, my parents were having someone over, and I was supposed to go home straight after school let out. That didn't really happen...Instead, I had to have a fucking breakdown in front of Asuma. The fuck was up with that? I mean, I know today was one of my off-days, but still. And now it's more dangerous than ever. He suspecting I'm getting abused. The good thing is, though, he doesn't know who. But in a not-so-tiny corner of my brain, I had this feeling. Something I haven't felt in a long, long time.

Safety.

I actually felt safe as Asuma held me, comforted me. I heard him talking to me, and I really appreciated it. It was like he actually cared about what happens to me. I think I might be falling in love with that feeling. I shook my head. _'No! Quit it. You've been dealing with this since elementary. You don't need anyone to be burdened with you.'_ Sad, I guess, but true. He might be more than happy to help me in the beginning, but when he finds out how much shit I go through, and how much I'll hold on to him, he'll try and get out of it. I wouldn't blame him. I have so much baggage, it's not even funny. So, it'll be best if he doesn't figure everything out.

Now, when I enter the house, I'm going to pay. Big time. I finally got to the house. I slowed down as I got to the porch, and grasped the doorknob. I stood still, trying to calm my nerves, and slowly turned the knob and opened the door. Here it goes...

**-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N: **Screw it. Shikamaru's going to be a emotional mess. He's OOC so much, it's not worth fighting for. He's a lost cause XD _Anyway,_ I love reviews :3 Oh! And school starts for me tomorrow, so updates might be...even longer. Hopefully not as long as this one, but long enough. Sorry 'bout that.

**~Sina~**


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